The emergence of the core ideas of what we now call “science” was closely linked to the principles of open and critical discourse. In the modern university system, it has become very difficult to uphold these ideals. Funding constraints, the demands of the publication process, and the practical limits of open discourse have led us to a scientific practice that is far removed from these ideals. The sudden availability of text-generating AI systems reduces this practice to absurdity, and we are left standing amid the ruins of the mechanisms intended to guarantee scientific integrity.